ThAt'S SoOo PaSsE

I made it, not without some adventure. Yesterday I stumbled out of customs after traveling 16+ hours. I was a bit tired and a little miffed that the customs guy stamped in the middle of a very used page in my passport instead on my newly christened page. However, I was headed home. The place I could dump my clothes, soak in the shower and settle back into life (sigh.) I know we aren't suppose to turn on our phones until we're out of customs, but I did anyway and apparently completely jinxed myself.

I texted my friend Kimi to tell her I was on my way out. No response. I called once I got through and went outside to see if she was there. No one. So, I called, no response. I sat down for a minute and scenarios began to race through my mind. Is she here but left her cell phone in the car? Maybe her cell died? Did she forget? Was someone hurt? Did she think it was tomorrow?! I didn't know what to do! I remained calm and called a few times. Then it was time to gamble. The shuttle into D.C. only left on the half-hour as it was a holiday. Should I jump on the one leaving now... or wait? Because I mean, she has to be on her way, I had confirmed with her! I called again. No response. So, I jumped on the bus and started racking my brain of people to call. It's not that I lack friends in the area, it's just that they were all (99.9 percent) at Duck Beach with hundreds of other YSA in America. I texted, called people, and finally got a hold of my friend Casey. He was in D.C. but sadly in the district for the next hour. My contingency plan: take the metro to Reagan airport and a taxi home from there. The joy of holiday timetables meant the metro came very infrequently--and I had to change lines, ugg. After a moment of groaning I said "Eh, I have time to kill." Luckily Casey collected me mid transit at the Rosslyn metro. No train switch and no taxi for me, all was well with the world.

Yet this morning Kimi realized her mistake. She called my cell phone, texted me and when I didn't respond, she called my office sobbing. I just laughed and told her it was fine, water under the bridge. But, being the nice person she is, she couldn't forgive herself. Baby in tow she came by work bearing gifts to apologize again. I could empathize with how she felt because I realize that we are much harder on ourselves individually than we are to others. My outlook on life is that people are inherently good. The fact that I've chosen someone as a friend solidifies that fact. When a disagreement/problem occurs, I don't stop being friends with someone or think they meant it maliciously. Simply air the grievance and work it out, that is what any relationship about--the sum is greater than any (sometimes stupid) part. But, I will also say that there are many times I proverbially throw myself in the dumps or am caught with fat crocodile tears in my eyes when I think of things I've done or bad decisions I've made that have hurt people, especially those I care most about... I also know the pain when someone fails to forgive. Yet this experience reminded me that holding a grudge is sooo passe. What's the point? Remember, the sum is always greater than its parts!