SeLf DiAgNoSeD B.a.D.d.

Or as I call it, Book Attention Deficit Disorder--and yes it's bad(d), nay, horrible! I love books, in fact I blame my current eye problems on my obsession with reading books. When I was little, my parents would send me to bed but instead of falling asleep (I've always been a night owl) I would read using the light from the hallway outside my bedroom. If I heard my parents coming up the stairs, I would quickly shove the books under my bed or at the bottom of my covers and pretend I was sleeping (this once led to my brother having an atrociously high library fee, sorry Neil.) Sometimes this guise worked, sometimes it didn't. Later, when I was too old to need a hall light, I resorted to a flashlight. For awhile, I even used a candle, but after a smelly hair-singing incident I went back to a flashlight.

When I was ten years old, a movie came out that changed the way I looked at books. There is a scene in Beauty and the Beast (I'm sure you know it well) when the Beast introduces Belle (a book aficionado) to his library. The camera pans out as she takes in miles, and miles, and miles of books. But the coolest part? It has a ladder! Since that day, It's always been my dream to have so many books that I would need a library with ladders. Who cares about a home with a built in bbq or swimming pool, I want a HUGE library!

So, since the day I gained some earning power, I've been collecting books I deemed worthy of my future ladder-wielding library. In middle school I was obsessed with Greek mythology, then I went on to detective novels and beginning in college I've had a goal to read (and collect) all the classic novels. I've even upped the ante and only buy hardcover books--they'll look nicer on my future shelves. However, the past few years I've also developed Attention Book Deficit Disorder. I start a book and anywhere from a few chapters in, to only 20 pages left... I abandon the book! Classic example, a year ago I read Three Cups of Tea for a short-lived book club I was in. I still had 2 chapters to read, but after going to book club, I never bothered to finish it! Or, the time I took Crime and Punishment as my only form of entertainment on a bus ride to New York City. By the time the bus hit New Jersey I would rather have thrown myself in front of it than continued reading the slow-paced book. So, now it sits on my shelf with a ticket stub at page 182.

Does this problem stop me from buying and subsequently starting new books? No! Below, on the left you will see the stack of books I have started in the past two years and never finished. Then, to make my condition even worse, on the right you'll see books I've purchased in the past few years and NEVER READ! I stick them on my shelf as a "one day soon," but they quickly get backlogged by another new, shiny, enticing cover I'm compelled to purchase. The problem is, these stacks don't even include the books I left at my parents house. What's wrong with me? I've tried making a rule that I can't buy anymore until I've read at least a few, but then I end up at the Strand, or a library book sale, or am given a Barnes & Noble gift card... and what's a girl to do?! Even now, with a stack of books staring at me daily, I'm not compelled to read any of them. I want to find a book I'll love so much I can't put it down; one that I'll stay up and read by flashlight...or now that I've grown up, lamp-light. Alas, {insert melancholy sigh} I can't seem to find one.

This leads to another problem: I don't want to buy a book I don't think I'll enjoy. One solution I devised was to loan them from the library. But 1) that doesn't help my library situation 2) what if I really like the book and want to annotate it, but I can't because it's not mine! Oh, the woes of bookdom. So, I guess I'll keep collecting library-worthy books and reading bits and pieces of them... because apparently I have A.B.D.D.

vs.

(Left) Books I'm "reading" and (right) books I have yet to read