ToP tHaT

Name the worst hotel you've stayed in and I bet I can beat it. A few weeks ago I had to go Miami, Fla. for work. I went down on the Friday so I could spend some time with my loverly friend Laura and her hubby Scott. They dropped me off at my hotel on Sunday night and our jaws just dropped. Not because it necessarily was disgusting, but just interesting. So interesting in fact, that Scott who was not going to come in at first, came in to get a better look. It was a boutique hotel that was decorated for Halloween. However, I'm not sure how much of the VERY strange decorations were for the benefit of Halloween.

I walked into my room and went to flip on the lights so I could see. The light (demonstrated in the photo above) was all I had. I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was in the redlight district?! Not only did this one light source do hardly any good, but it hung inches from my face as I slept! I quickly asked the hotel for a different room because the light just creeped me out. But I decided against switching when I overheard the attendant say (after explaining they were full) "well, this guy just refused to take this room, maybe she will?" Um, no. It was right next to the bar, I decided to stick with what I had. I go back to my room and start unpacking. I notice that there was reading material in the room, (maybe you can see in the upper right corner?) Two books of scantly clad women. Oh, oops, I'm not in the red light district, but apparently my room is used to make low budget porn! On the last day we were there I found a robe laying on my bed, huh. Interesting. My coworker goes "oh, they just forgot to clean-up after filming." I wouldn't be surprised....

I will also say that there was ONE other source of light-in the bathroom-that was the size of a small flashlight. But don't be alarmed there was a FULL LENGTH MIRROR around the entire shower that the peasily light could reflect off of as I showered. The one time I forget flip flops is the one time I wish I had them. Not because Miami was hot, but so I could shower in them! YUCK. I had to give myself a pep talk before getting in the shower. I shouldn't complain too much about mine though; one of my coworkers is a big guy, football player build. His shower was maybe 3ft x 3 ft. with a sunflower shower head. The head and diameter of the shower made it so hard for him to shower he likened it to water boarding. He literally had to stick his head out of the shower to breath. I'm still laughing about that....

This place was "classic" in the sense that I will never let my boss (who picked the hotel) live it down. It remains a toss up if we were more disgusted or entertained by our hotel. Moral of story? Always take flip flops when traveling and don't let your male boss choose the hotel. ;)

Also disappointing, no everglade alligator sighting- I'm starting to believe they don't exist. But here are some photos of the excursion: